This is 29: A List of What No One Told Me

They don’t tell you that your twenties are just childhood with bills and heartbreak. That the milestones won’t feel like celebrations, and that the lessons won’t come neatly wrapped in self-help books or podcasts. They come in burned bridges, drained bank accounts, and the kind of grief that makes you question everything you once swore by. 

I’m 29 now, and while I don’t have it all figured out, here’s what I’ve learned so far, most of it the hard way.

Life is hard. 

Not in the cliché way they always told you, but in the way that knocks you down, drags you behind a car, and spits you out miles south when you swore you were headed north. It’s the kind of hard that leaves scrapes down your legs and pride in your throat, and honestly? You’re lucky if you don’t move back in with your parents at least twice. That’s not failure. That’s just life.

Money will always be a thing. 

Even if you're not actively worried about it, someone you love will be. Especially men. They’re obsessed with it. They measure worth by it. Learn how to separate your self-worth from your bank account. It’s okay to care, and it’s okay not to. Just know, it’ll always be part of the conversation.

You will fall in love more than once. 

It will feel like the first time, every time, and it will still hurt like hell when it ends. Learn how to sit with heartbreak. Don’t try to outpace it. You’ll swear this one was different. It wasn’t. And that’s not a bad thing. It means you're alive. Everyone survives it. So will you.

Learn how to play chess. 

Trust me. It's the new party trick. Right up there with driving stick shift. It’s sexy to be strategic.

Friendships won’t always last. 

And that’s okay. People grow, seasons shift, and some friendships fade without a big blowout. It doesn’t mean it wasn’t real. Let go when it’s time. And if you’re feeling lonely? You're not broken. You're human. Join something. Take a class. Say yes more than no. It’ll pass.

Read. 

I’m not kidding. A good book will hold you when no one else can. 20 pages a day is enough to change your mindset. Read fiction, memoirs, essays, poetry. Let words be your medicine.

It’s not always your fault. 

And even when it is, that’s part of the deal. You’re not supposed to get everything right. You did the best you could with what you knew at the time. That’s grace. Take it.

Be a regular somewhere. 

Seriously. Community doesn’t happen by accident. Go inside the coffee shop. Browse the bookstore weekly. Take up a hobby. Let people see your face. It builds a sense of place, and that’s something we all crave more than we admit.

Jobs are not forever. 

Don’t let anyone shame you for quitting. Careers aren’t linear anymore. The people who thrive are the ones who adapt. You’re allowed to leave. You’re allowed to grow. And often, the company you just met will value you more than the one you've been loyal to for years. Don’t let guilt keep you broke.

Let go. Embrace. Nurture. Release. 

That’s the cycle. It’s cruel and sacred all at once. The tighter you hold on, the more it hurts when it slips away. Everything is meant to move. Let it.